Terrorism

As we all know, terrorism is a problem in our world. People with illogical anger decide to take it out on the rest of us for illogical reasons. Just because we stole all your land, or all your money, or anything in between, is not reason to fight back. We will be taking your souls too, by the way. And that autographed picture of Rob Schneider.

I have a solution.

In the greatest interest of the United States of America, I propose that we nuke to hell everyone else. This will certainly erase all threat of terrorism. Also, we will install thought-monitoring software into the brains of every citizen in the U.S. This will prevent future..."issues."

As to the first part of my proposal, I think it quite sound and reasonable. As the world knows, we sit on 20x the nukes that anyone else has (and everyone else combined for that matter). This means we can fire ~10 nukes per continent while using spare nukes to blow up their nukes in mid-air when they try to retaliate. Effectively, we can attack with no chance of being destroyed in the process. Now, I know that some people will object to this. I believe they are called "enviromlists," or something of the sort. Perhaps "viromenalist." Anyway, they are those who believe we should care about the planet. The simple answer is to execute them all. We shall cut their arms off and feed them to the starving and unemployed in our great country. This of course, leads to new job openings in "Cannabilism," which will help lower our unemployment to 0% This shall increase the happiness of the country quite extensively, with dissenters of course devoured.

As to the second part of my proposal, I believe within 30 years we shall have the technology to monitor thoughts. Until then, we will have to bide with armed guarded accomponing people when they do their daily business, including use the bathroom. Any dissenters will be consumed. I, of course, will be the leader of this new country. I shall have a statue the size of New York commissioned. It shall be constructed of pure gold and diamonds. All that are between the ages of 5 and 10 shall aid in the contruction of it. All dissenters will be ravished upon. Once the nessessary technology is created, I shall take control of this country and I will become Go- I mean lead us all to a beautiful future.

I hope you consider my proposal. All dissenters will be...people wait as I look up another verb...ingested.