I <3 Indian Rugby Channel

I get two thousand channels on my television. That is not a hyperbole. I get five ESPNs, both C-SPANs, three Nicklodeons, a pair of Disney Channels, four that end in -NBC, the full HBO, Discovery and Showtime! suites, and most major Mexican, French Canadian, and Chinese government-sponsored networks. And the Indian Rugby Channel. Which, for some reason which old men must sit on mountains to ponder, exists. Hmm.

And yet, despite the endless sea of programming available to me, I rarely find something to watch. I tape a handful of shows; there are still John Dailys and Colbert Reports on our DVR from March 2008. But no one in my family can really sit down for hours and watch TV. It's just so inane or infuriating or UK football that we can't bear to watch it.

I guess that's why I don't understand the"too much TV is destroying our children's minds" argument. I agree that the programming is stupid stupid stupid. But it's still impossible for me to imagine anyone that attached to their television; anyone who could watch enough TV to actually get around to dumbing them down. There's no way a human being could survive it. Their mind would give up. Too many questions. "Why would someone willingly hold themselves perfectly still and stare at the boobs on a show hosted by Jerry Springer, a former mayor of Cincinnati? Why would Tom Delay or Patti Blagojevich volunteer to appear as regular cast members on reality shows? Why is neither Glen Beck, nor Keith Olbermann dead? Why is Larry King dead, but still allowed to keep his TV show?" They'd have to kill themselves or risk going mad and eating their own children. It's just not feasible.

Also, watch Better Off Ted on Monday at ABC. Very underrated show.