I watch C-SPAN for fun. Not often, because that would melt my brain. But on the occasional day when the Daily Show is on break and a Kat Williams marathon/the Chicago Fire is playing, I can survive off of how funny it is that David Akaka is a person. Akaka. Akakakaka. Hah.

But even I found President Obama's speech to the nation's students boring. It was fatally long, for one thing. The President is used to orations before voters and States of the Union; but the children and teenagers of America cannot handle that lengthy a speech. At the very least I can't. The only teacher I know of who can speak, with no student interaction, for minutes at a time, and not make me want to cuddle the boy or girl next to me and go to sleep is Mr. Pope; and that's just because he jumps up and down and violently shakes your table. President Obama did not jump up and down. He did not shake my table. He spoke in a measured, even voice that was not quite a monotone, but was no where near the vocal peaks-and-valleys of a Mr. Pope. He delivered an inspirational speech in a manner which was perceivably designed to make sure that nothing stood out; to eliminate as much vocal variation as possible; to make it boring.

I suppose he assumed that, like everyone else, the school children of America would hang on his every word not because he is a brilliant orator, but because he is President. Which is natural; normally this happens, and it should. Boring Presidents have important things to say too. But kids need a different tack than the Democratic Party campaign donors; we need variation and anecdotes and entertainment. Or else Obama just becomes another boring teacher, and worse, a boring teacher who can't even tell you're not paying attention. There was no reason for a student to listen to him. He should've known his audience better, and planned a speech for older versions of his kids, not younger versions of his voters.