What I want out of life

Dinner time at the Karakashian household is a scientific wonder. Time slows down, food never ends, family members talk for millennia without once stopping for breath. And every year around the holidays it somehow manages the most amazing feat of all: it gets worse. My sister comes home from DC and regardless of how boring I find the world of micro-finance, my parents can never get enough.

I pivoted the salt shaker around one point of its octagonal base, trying to balance it and spin it around without letting it fall. It didn’t work. I grabbed the spilt salt and tossed it over my left shoulder, abandoning the salt shaker for obvious reasons and turning instead to the window. I found myself so fascinated by the way the tree branches crisscrossed across the evening sky that the dull conversation floating around the dinner table disappeared into undistinguishable noise.

"Claudia? Are you paying attention? Your sister could certainly teach you a few things about goals." My mother said, practically salivating at the thought of sister bonding time. I looked over at my sister and found that she, too, was looking hungrily at me. The prospect of lecturing me about goals and futures and decisions was making her eyes gleam in a dangerous way. I muttered an unintelligible response and turned my head back towards the window.

The conversation around me slowly shifted away from me, but to my dismay I found myself repeating my mother’s words in my head.

Your sister could certainly teach you a few things about goals.

A frown turned the corners of my lips downward, and wondered how in the world my sister was supposed to teach me about my goals. What were my goals anyway? I suppose many of my goals were fairly orthodox- become a doctor, start a family, retire happily. As great as they sounded, they all rang hollow somehow. So many others share these goals, can I really call them my own? I began to think harder, to dig deeper. I absentmindedly grabbed the salt shaker and began spinning it again.

I started with the things I don’t want. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be a workaholic. I don’t want to feel trapped in one place. I don’t want every day to be the same.

My goal is simple; I want to live my life surrounded by the people I care about, the people who hopefully reciprocate this caring. I want to have plenty of time to spend with them, and plenty of time to spend away from them. I want to see the world with the knowledge that I have a lovely home waiting for me when I finish.

As for 2010, I see as just another stepping stone on the way. This year, I have three resolutions that I think are key to ensuring my happiness and that of those around me. If I make decent grades, treat my friends as well as i possibly can, and stay on good terms with my family, then this could very well be the best year yet.