America Comes Together, You C***l*****

This isn't exactly a "seminal summer experience," but it's a story from an extremely important and memorable sort-of-camp, so it's close enough in spirit if not in time.

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When people talk about the Inauguration of Barack Obama, they always talk about how close

people were, how America Came Together. This irks me. Of course, I don't know the whole story; maybe the people who bought their tickets and arranged for seats were feeling very close. But as for those of us who jumped the fence out around the National Monument where the guards weren't looking, there was no real connection. One memory I think will stick with me is of a sixtiesish black woman who was standing near me, and who I'd been spooning for about an hour (it was crowded.) We were stuck behind a row of trees to the north east of the Monument, looking through them at a JumboScreen of the Inaugural from a distance I didn't really take time to judge because, as mentioned, there was some big lady-butt rubbing against my junk. But about an hour in, a few teenage boys managed to climb up into the trees, blocking twenty billion people's view of the TV.

"Get the f**k out of that motherf***ing tree you little brats!" the woman in front of me yelled. I could feel her voice reverberating in my Myers Family Jewels.

"It's a free f***ing country Grandma!" one of the tree-dwellers called back.

"Don't make me tell you again, a**hole!"

"Shut it, c***l*****!"

"What the f**k did you just call me? Because there is no f***ing way you just called me what I think you just called me!"

"C***l***** c***l*****!"

"You stupid c***s***ers!"

I don't know if the seizure a girl about four yards away from me had was caused by A**hole's and C***l*****'s example of America Coming Together, but I like to think it was.

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The Rotten Tomatoes website; I do not see a movie without learning how I'm supposed to feel about it first.